Love isn’t Found in Chasing Perfection

Today was my daughter’s first day with the nanny at her house. Before she was born, we applied to two popular daycares in our area, of which we are still waitlisted.

While I was driving there, I noticed the neighborhood was situated in an industrial area with ongoing construction and bumpy roads. All of the houses look gloomy and depressed as if they have been living in the dark days of winter for too long. And the grass is waiting for someone to water them like they are waiting for something beautiful that wants to grow in this place.

“Is there even a park around here, where are the kids going to play”, I thought to myself.

I parked and walked to the back of my nanny’s home. The peeling dark brown paint reminded me so much of my own childhood basement, of which I didn’t want to raise Hailey in.

Her space is tiny with one window. Dim light. Messy. Unorganized.

A lot of big feelings rose in me, and I felt a pang of guilt and thought, “oh why didn’t I follow up with the two best daycares”. But I know she’s safe because I’ve been praying for a solution and God provided someone I knew from high school who also walks by faith.

As I drove back to my “perfect” neighborhood, I felt the Holy Spirit prompted me to ask the question what is God teaching me here?

And God gently answers…

Love isn’t found in chasing perfection. Perfection isn’t real.

A clean and tidy home doesn’t necessarily mean your daughter will grow, develop, and thrive. A messy home can be filled with love and a broken person can still be loved, because I am the Father who will love a broken person inside a messy home.

Truthfully, I don’t even know what perfect love looks like, but God does. He loves those who have broken hearts and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

He knows how to love us.